Our primal fat burning fires are a blazing and we still continue to feel amazing.
Lets start with Dom:
Dom every year has suffered with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and in the early days of our marriage, he would flee our home as though it were on fire. He was irrational, controlling, couldn’t think clearly, depressed, would control what he ate so much that he would get way too skinny, and hated, I mean HATED winter. When I say flee our home, he would literally tell me that he didn’t love me anymore, and move out sometime in late fall through the winter months. Sounds crazy right? In the early days of our marriage, we didn’t know that he had Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I thought I had done something wrong. He would be dazed, have a glassed over look in his eyes, and it seemed as though all the goodwill and warm love he had for me would just shrink like aluminum foil being crumpled up tight into a little ball. Even the kids would ask, “Mom, is Dom okay? He doesn’t seem like himself.” It was quite noticeable and memorable.
When we joke about moving to Iceland or the Yukon Territory (which is usually at least once a month for 8 years now LOL) he always shivers and say, “Hell no, I could never make it with so much cold and winter!” Then we would laugh it off.
It isn’t a laughing matter however, as the days begin to grow dark earlier. We discovered about six years ago that he in fact had Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I would begin to safeguard both him and myself for the impending winter months. Keeping him accountable during the winter months helped him to stay in control and not do things aimlessly. It meant that I needed to watch him very carefully, and ask him to slow down when he’d get way to ensconced in a project. It also meant reminding him that he didn’t have to restrict his food intake. With all this SADness going on, I usually would be in the midst of recovering from pneumonia. He would lose his job because he needed to stay home to take care of me. This meant a daily schedule of stripping down beds, cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms of anything that could resemble mold, vacuum and dust, and then change my clothes because I was too weak to get up and do it myself.
This was the life we led. One horrific tragedy after another. Leaving and coming back home on his part, ups and downs, pneumonia and long hospital stays on my part.
Once spring would come and the days grew brighter, he would perk up, his love would return renewed, and everything would be very good until the fall again.
When we moved here to New Mexico, things began to change a bit. Our winters tend to be more mild, and the sun is shining at least 350 days per year. Not bad huh! It helped to begin to change him. He no longer would get antsy to try and leave our home, and while he still had some control issues (like trying to tell everyone when and for how long they could watch TV LOL) he was feeling much better.
Jump forward to the present, and I can say with all the wonder inside me, that he is almost completely out of the woods with SAD. At this time of year as we approach winter solstice, I am witnessing his mental clarity. No more jumbled thoughts and aimless activities. He has changed so much in just three weeks.
I was afraid he would begin to lose too much weight, but I’m happy to report that he hasn’t lost a single pound. He is the optimal weight as well as having the right amount of fat on his body. I thought he lost weight since his face looked a little thinner, but I came to find out that it was due to him being clean shaven. How funny is that! Just a bit of scruff or even a beard gives him that full manly look that I love.
Anyway, he’s doing great, and he hasn’t had any cravings for sweets, bread, potatoes, pasta, beans, or even beer. We were talking about maybe getting a small bottle of really good wine for me and nice beer for him, but we started cracking up laughing that we don’t have the slightest need for it. Out of habit we talked about it since Christmas is coming up.
We still haven’t made up our mind about the wine and beer yet.
As for me? Well, miracles happen everyday. Every morning I wake up, I wonder what I’ll do to surprise myself. I no longer have pain upon rising in the morning. I don’t have to move my joints to get them going, and the cold weather doesn’t bother my joints in the least. No pain, no discomfort, no problems.
I used to move much slower, take my time doing things and not expend much energy. Now I can’t wait to jump out of the car before we leave the property to manually open the gate. I know that doesn’t seem like much, but when my joints hurt all the time, and I don’t want to go on steroids or pain killers, I would just deal with the pain and chalk it up to growing older. Remembering how I felt just three weeks ago weighs on my mind like a ton of bricks, and both Dom and I would look at each other and he would say, “How the hell did you even live before this?” Of course this was rhetorical, but he often brings up how different I am now.
Another miracle for me is going shopping. I have had a phobia about going to any store that had lower ceilings and felt enclosed. I would rush around freaked out and I just wanted to go home. I could go to Home Depot because the ceilings were high and I could go out into the nursery section that was all open, but that’s all. Every other store would give me anxiety so bad that I’d be in bed for the next several days trying to recover. I’m happy to report that I no longer suffer from this kind of anxiety. Dom and I were out this past weekend shopping and it was a relaxed time. I think it’s the first time I’ve enjoyed shopping in a long time. When I was in my twenties, I had no problems going to the store. After 35, it became increasingly difficult for me to mentally operate in the store. Malls were like hell on earth for me. I hated them.
Just because my anxiety to retail stores is banished, doesn’t mean that I’m interested in taking up shopping as a hobby.
I also had a phone phobia that is quickly dissipating. I know it sounds weird to have issues with talking on the phone, but I did have problems in that department. It’s now easier to talk on the phone, and I don’t sound like I’m trying to kill anybody I’m communicating with. That’s what used to happen to me. I’d be on the phone having a conversation, and then at some point, I’d become agitated, angry and upset. My voice would get louder and more intense, and I’d know that I shouldn’t stay on the phone. Have you ever been in a situation where you said something out of place or irrational because you were filled with anxiety? That was me. I always started okay, but it would end bad. Awkward! AND, the poor person on the other end would hear a tone that wasn’t true to what I was feeling deep inside. If that makes any sense.
And just because my phone phobia is clearing up, doesn’t mean I want to take up a job as a telemarketer.
My hearing is returning. Go figure! I thought for sure I was going deaf. I usually could only hear muffled sounds out of my left ear, and even less out of my right. I would drive my family up the wall because I couldn’t hear them even though they were sitting right next to me. Most of the time that’s due to background noise, but now even with background noise, my hearing is doing so much better than it used to.
Loud noises and background noise would send me up the wall. I couldn’t handle more than one person talking at one time, and now? Well, I can be on the phone with Dom while two teenagers are talking to me at the same time while a toddler is screaming her demands at me to talk to whoever I’m on the phone with. And I didn’t have a nervous breakdown. I’d say that’s progress!
My hives are still present, but they are 50% less intense then ever before. I may scratch a few times during the day, but its not bad. At night when the pain and itching are more active, the intensity is lessened. I still take Benadryl, but less now.
Dom and I are also having some pretty wild and vivid dreams, AND we remember them.
My dreams have been different premonitions that have come true after between 2 days and 2 weeks. At first I had no idea the dreams I’ve been remembering would walk closely with reality until they would happen. I would wake up from a vivid dream, tell Dom the dream and then just go about my daily business. That is until what happened in my dream, happened in real life. Not every dream I have is like that. But I seem to know which one is relevant and which ones are just plain silly.
Dom has had one premonition dream that also came true. The others have been vivid and he has remembered them clearly.
I don’t know why we’ve been having these types of dreams, but I love it. Most of the dreams are entertaining, and others are perplexing…like a warning of something coming.
I’m not one to take dreams for anything more than a sleepy string of unconscious thoughts tied together and making no sense whatsoever, but when the dreams come true in dead on accuracy, I tend now to give them a little more respect and consideration. Dom too.
My energy levels still abound and I couldn’t imagine laying down to take a nap or even just to rest. There are far too many exciting things to do since my body doesn’t hurt.
I only lost a few pounds this week, but strangely, I dropped another dress size.
The book Primal Body, Primal Mind by Nora Gedgaudas will arrive this Saturday and I’m super excited to read and digest all 400+ pages!
In the meantime, I’ve been reading a lot about circadian rhythms, leptin and cold thermogenesis. I definitely have a problem with leptin resistance, so taking primal to the next level is coming soon. I first want to see what Miss Nora has to say about becoming leptin sensitive again. If her work resonates with other body of work I’ve been reading by neurosurgeon Jack Kruse, I think the plan will go from “this is too easy” to “holy crap! I have to sit in ice water everyday for how long?” Of course there’s more to his work than just cold thermogenesis; I’m most interested in learning how to reset my hypothalamus.
What can I say? I feel amazing!