“The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.” Quentin Crisp
If you haven’t read part one of The ABC’s of Self Sufficiency you can click here to catch up.
This is part two, and like part one, its all about how we can begin to move in the direction of self sufficiency BEFORE we actually start taking physical action. Self sufficiency starts in the mind, especially if we want to be successful at it.
O- Opportunity. Give others the opportunity to find out how to be self sufficient. Step out of the way from thinking you have all the answers. You don’t, nor do you know exactly what it will take for others to learn what is necessary for themselves.
P- Peace is important when talking about self sufficiency. Peace brings contentment to the heart. You can live in a cardboard box happily if you are at peace within yourself. If you don’t have peace, you won’t be able to even be alone with your own thoughts. Those who lack personal peace often make life difficult for those around them. They are restless, angry and without any real goals or purpose in life. The phrase “misery loves company” comes to mind for those who lack peace. To me, people are investments and you have a choice to invest in peaceful people who will add value to your life, or restless people who have no peace and devalue your life. You make the choice.
Q- Question everything until it all makes sense. I’m not talking about annoying people to no end with incessant questions, but ask yourself the questions and seek out the answers. Isn’t that a part of being self sufficient? Don’t wait around for others to give you the answers, be proactive and find out for yourself.
R- Reinforce your emotional and physical boundaries. If there is anything that can throw your life into chaos its those who can not respect your boundaries. Whether its a spouse, child, friend or extended family member, if you don’t have boundaries, self sufficiency in life will be difficult to attain. You will always be in a state panic and protection over violated boundaries. Those with healthy boundaries respect themselves as well as respecting others’ boundaries. Those without boundaries will always violate yours. If you have never heard of the concept of boundaries, do a little research to find out more about this essential key component to living an emotionally healthy life.
S- Spice of life is important when striving for self sufficiency. Whether you are married or single, without it life becomes dull and colorless. Spice is not the same as entertainment…its the heat, passion and drive between lovers, that keeps them lovers and not “team members.” No matter whether you’re in relationship or not, we need heat, passion and drive to help us fulfill deep longings and desires which bring contentment and peace of mind. We control how much spice we allow in our lives, and to me, a passionless life is the kiss of death!
T- Truth… Maya Angelou said it best: “There’s a world of difference between truth and facts. Facts can obscure the truth.” Enough said! Let that quote sink in and take hold of you. Look at your life and ask yourself this question, “In my striving towards self sufficiency, when have the facts of my life hidden the real truth?” Can we be that honest with ourselves? I’ve known quite a few master manipulators, and what they are best at is using facts…undeniable facts, to shove truth in the dark, abusing the following:
- Friendships
- Family members
- Parent/child relationship or step parent/child relationship
- Marriages
U- Understand your strengths and limitations as well as those of your family. Each family member must work towards their own goals of self sufficiency since each person is unique with their own special talents and skills.
The difference between a wise and foolish man is this–the former sees much, thinks much, and speaks little; but the latter speaks more than he either sees or thinks. WILLIAM SCOTT DOWNEY, Proverbs
Wisdom is the daughter of experience.LEONARDO DA VINCI, Thoughts on Art and Life
Wisdom is a right understanding, a faculty of discerning good from evil, what is to be chosen and what rejected; a judgment grounded upon the true value of things, and not the common opinion of them. WELLINS CALCOTT, Thoughts Moral and Divine
X- Well, I couldn’t find anything creative for ‘X’ so the X will need to stand for ’10′ in terms of the most important 10 things you can do in your life right now to begin to become more self sufficient. Yes, I’m grasping at straws with X. 
Y- Years. It takes years to learn to become self sufficient. The truth is that it takes a long time to unlearn the old habits that can hold us back from making real progress in our lives.
Z- Zeal or zealous…from the dictionary:
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